At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
even my farts smell like vagina
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You ruined the universe
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
