Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize