we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
do herpes really smell.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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