What a fucking waste of an outfit
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize