If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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