I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
