Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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