This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
