You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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