You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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