I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize