Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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