oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
