I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
