I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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