U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
