I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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