your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
