i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
