Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
