The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
