porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
