k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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