bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
