I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
