I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
