Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
