Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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