The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
