I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
