Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
