i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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