i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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