put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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