she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
