i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
