she was so not down for the gang bang
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
