when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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