i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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