Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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