I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize