So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
