I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
