So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
my liver is dry heaving
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
