You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
