I wannas sexs uuuuu
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
