I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Redeem this text for a blowjob
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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