I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
