Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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