no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Also, beer. Big fan.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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