but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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