His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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