Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
