we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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