Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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