Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
