My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
