It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
