Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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