Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
