what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
barbara walters just said penis...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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