well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
