xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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