Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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