Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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