So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
