Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
