Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
