My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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