too bad you live with your parents still
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
