She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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